A possum is a flat animal … that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes … and 4,998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before.

If it grows – it’ll stick ya. If it crawls – it’ll bite cha.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jawl-P? … It means – did you all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

‘Fixinto’ is one word. It means … ‘I’m going to do that’.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner … and then there’s supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals … and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the ‘Wine of the South’.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

The word ‘jeet’ is actually a question meaning, ‘Did you eat?’

You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is. You work until you’re done … or it’s too dark to see.

You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

Ya’ll is singular. All ya’ll is plural.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You carry jumper cables in your car – for your OWN car.

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name).

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know what a ‘hissy fit’ is.

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed. If our Mama says we can drive – we can drive!!!

You understand these jokes … and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.